Dentist Manages Not To Sound Excited While Telling Patient How Much Expensive Work He Needs Done



TORONTO: Realizing that he had just made thousands and thousands of dollars, local dentist Barry Chapman did his best today to sound frustrated while explaining to his hapless patient just how badly he was about to get soaked.

“You haven’t been flossing, have you?” Dr. Chapman chided, shaking his head and trying not to picture the European vacation he could finance with this poor bastard’s money, “This is why it’s important to take care of your teeth, Mr. Johnston.”

Heroically resisting the urge to stand up and pump his fist in celebration, Dr. Chapman proceeded to ask how many times he had told Mr. Johnston about the dangers of tooth decay – fully aware that his patient couldn’t speak because of the gauze in his mouth, and was likely going to have to re-mortgage his house to pay for all the shit that needed fixing.

“Sometimes I don’t know why I bother” the condescending prick sighed, actually fucking pretending to be upset that he was about to earn the average Canadian family’s monthly pre-tax income for forty-five minutes of work, which, incidentally, would inflict blinding pain upon the miserable sod who had to pay for it, “everyone thinks that brushing is enough, and there’s just no convincing them otherwise.”

After Mr. Johnston had slouched off to calculate how far back his retirement would have to be pushed, Dr. Chapman honestly, swear to god, had the freaking gonads to complain to his secretary about how his patients never take his advice until it’s too late, before telling her to google tour packages that include Athens, Paris, Rome, Madrid, and London.

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